The Lion's Surprise from the Mouse's Perspective! A VIDEO entry!

The story as written...

Lucy's interpretation from the Mouse's perspective

written and performed by Lucy Salazar

Rewriting her favorite scene using personification and another perspective

This is the story she modified... Click here to read and start on page 203



I had to write my favorite part of the story as another character.  This was my favorite part of the story.

This is how I rewrote it, from the point of view of the dog.

Reading- Black Beauty assignment: Rewriting a paragraph as a different narrator.

Black Beauty is the narrator of the story.  I wrote this paragraph with the sheep as a narrator.

The original...

My rewrite as a sheep

Beautiful Like Cinderella- Improving Your First Sentence

Oh!  The day is finally here!   I jumped out of bed.  It was the day I had been waiting for!  Me and my spectacular Nina were going to a fabulous play downtown.

One winter day me and my spectacular Nina went to a fabulous play downtown. 

I wore a beautiful sparkly blue dress that my very special Nina bought for me.  It had a white shiny jewel of Cinderella on the top of the dress.  I wore an enormous can-can under my dress.  Can-cans are poofy and itchy.  It amazingly makes my dress flare when I spin like a ballerina.  

My terrific high heels glow when I walk like a princess.  I wore fantastic pink and purple eye shadow, lip gloss and blue stick-on earrings of Cinderella.  My curly hair was in a beautiful bun.  I wore a beautiful headband.  I was magically beautiful in my Cinderella costume.

Beautiful like Cinderella- breaking sentences up into paragraphs/ main ideas

One winter day me and my spectacular Nina went to a fabulous play downtown. 

I wore a beautiful sparkly blue dress that my very special Nina bought for me.  It had a white shiny jewel of Cinderella on the top of the dress.  I wore an enormous can-can under my dress.  Can-cans are poofy and itchy.  It amazingly makes my dress flare when I spin like a ballerina.  

My terrific high heels glow when I walk like a princess.  I wore fantastic pink and purple eye shadow, lip gloss and blue stick-on earrings of Cinderella.  My curly hair was in a beautiful bun.  I wore a beautiful headband.  I was magically beautiful in my Cinderella costume.  

 

Beautiful Like Cinderella- Improving Word Choices

One winter day me and my spectacular Nina went to a fabulous play downtown.  I wore a beautiful sparkly blue dress that my very special Nina bought for me.  It had a white shiny jewel of Cinderella on the top of the dress.  I wore an enormous can-can under my dress.  Can-cans are poofy and itchy.  It amazingly makes my dress flare when I spin like a ballerina.  My terrific high heels glow when I walk like a princess.  I wore fantastic pink and purple eye shadow, lip gloss and blue stick-on earrings of Cinderella.  My curly hair was in a beautiful bun.  I wore a beautiful headband.  I was magically beautiful in my Cinderella costume.  

Beautiful like Cinderella- Rough draft